


A Bird Could Love A Fish

by psocoptera



Series: Thirty Fic [28]
Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: 30Fic, Established Relationship, F/M, Post-Movie, Relationship Negotiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 07:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12907398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psocoptera/pseuds/psocoptera
Summary: It's never occurred to Megamind that he might not be the last of his people.(Standalone story, see notes for series explanation.)





	A Bird Could Love A Fish

**Author's Note:**

> The Thirty Fic series is my long-term ongoing project of writing stories about characters turning or being thirty. The stories aren't related except by that one common thread.
> 
> I realized after I became attached to this title that it sounds like a romance between Minion and somebody. It isn't; it's from a quote about relationships between very different people: "A bird could love a fish, but where would they live?"

"I don't see why the hell you wouldn't!" Roxanne says, and Megamind flinches.

Back up. Roxanne is watching while the alien girl presses a blue hand to Megamind's chest. It would be intimate, for humans, but for Megamind's people? Who knows?

Still not far enough. Megamind is dancing in a white cape, in front of a crowd. Farther, where an orbiting death ray converts the electromagnetic radiation of the sun into a thermokinetic plasma beam aimed at an old observatory, giving off, in the process, a Blue Emission Aura COncentrated Nanopulse, which, if anyone had happened to be looking in just the right spot, would have looked like a very pretty blue flash, similar in color to what Earth scientists call Cherenkov radiation. If anyone had happened to be looking. Or if anyone was looking everywhere, all the time, for something just that color.

Start rolling forward again. Megamind dances in a white cape. Megamind walks in a snowy park with Roxanne. Megamind's Brainbots fly through the streets during the blizzard of the century, looking for people trapped in their cars, while his giant caterpillar-tracked snowmobuses follow and transport them to warming shelters. Roxanne broadcasts live from one of the snowmobuses to show how safe they are. More of Roxanne's clothes migrate to the lair. Megamind starts keeping eyeliner and a toothbrush at Roxanne's, which Roxanne has been telling him for months he can do.

When the aliens land, it's spring, and the daffodils are blooming. The ship comes down over the water, invisible and radar-proof, and the first anyone knows they're there is when three of them suddenly de-invisibilize on the steps of the museum. One has a jet pack, one is in a flying chair, and the third has a wide, gadget-laden ring around their waist that looks unfortunately a bit like a baby jumper. They are all three familiarly blue and large-headed, and a woman walking by the reflecting pool has the presence of mind to pull out her phone and call the Megamind hotline - you get a Brainbot in a minute or two, in most parts of the city, and then Megamind or a transfer to the city emergency services depending what the Brainbot's camera sees. In this case, Megamind gets a video feed almost immediately because there are always a few Brainbots stationed on the roof of the museum.

"Good afternoon!" the alien in the flying chair declares, her voice obviously amplified somehow, because it rings out clearly down the whole length of the reflecting pool. "We are some of the last survivors of an obliterated planet, and we're looking for our long-lost cousin who goes here on Earth by the name of Megamind! Megamind, if you're out there, we want to meet you! Nice statue by the way!"

Megamind, in the lair, watching the Brainbot's feed on one of the monitors, clutches at the arms of his chair. He thinks perhaps he's going to swoon. That's a thing you might do when you're shocked, right? Roxanne never did, from getting kidnapped, but people do in films, sometimes, so it has to be real, unless it's a made-up thing. He still doesn't always know. Right now he feels like everything has gone sort of echoey, and he's suddenly aware of his heartbeat, and - oh - he's not breathing. He should breathe.

It's never occurred to Megamind that he might not be the _last_ of his people. He doesn't have a code for this. He doesn't have a protocol.

"Minion," he calls, weakly. His voice sounds strange. "Minion, code... help?"

The aliens on the monitor - his cousins? on the monitor? - seem to be waiting cheerfully. The one with the jet pack is looking around at the buildings, the one in the jumper is looking at their instruments, and the one who had spoken has aimed a small device in her hand at his statue. Her chair floats back a few paces, and she re-aims the thing, holding it up closer to her face. _Camera_ , Megamind thinks.

"What is it, si - oh," Minion says, coming in to the room and making an odd gulping noise. He walks over to Megamind's chair and puts a mechanical hand on his shoulder. "Oh my goodness, sir."

"What am I going to do, Minion?" Megamind croaks. "What am I going to wear? Do I need to bring something? Do I bring a weapon? Do I not bring a weapon?"

"Deep breath, sir," Minion reminds him. "You're going to go meet them?"

"I have to," Megamind says, and then stops. "No, I guess I don't have to, but I'm going to, I don't know how long they'll wait, or - "

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He fumbles for it. It's a text from Roxanne. _museum meet you there_ , it says. Of course she's rushing towards aliens; she's been itching for a big story for months. There isn't as much going on in Metro City these days now that there are no super battles. It makes things clearer for Megamind, though: he's going to wear what he's wearing, because there's no time to change, and he's going unarmed as a sort of preemptive de-escalation. And he's bringing backup.

"Hoverbikes," he says to Minion. "You get the De-Gun, I'm telling" - he types quickly - "half the bots to move in and make a roofline perimeter. Priority to extract Roxanne if anything gets weird. Let's go."

Roxanne, in the KMCP van, is driving fast enough to make her camerawoman Julia wince. It's fortunately not far, but she's stuck on the ground. Why does she keep rejecting Megamind's offer to make her a hoverbike? She could have a sidecar for Julia, never mind that Julia would probably quit if she knew Roxanne was even thinking that. Admittedly she wouldn't have a reason to use it very often, because nothing much happens any more - but, now, aliens! Contact! Danger! Long-lost relatives! This story has everything!

There. The van squeals to a stop near the museum, and Roxanne is out and running. Aliens! Of course technically she's dating one but Megamind doesn't remember much from the week he got to live on his home planet. Lots of spoon feeding and counting games, nothing enough for a good story. She hopes she can get an interview. What will she ask first? What will Megamind want to ask first? And there they are: three people who look like Megamind, and Megamind has landed his hoverbike on one side of the pool and is walking slowly towards them.

Megamind sees them, and he's never thought before how it would feel to see someone who looked like him. He has this wild desire to press his hands to their skin, to see if it's really the same blue - _totally_ inappropriate, although he does remember people touching him when they greeted him when he was a baby, but he was a _baby_ \- and he's here. They're here. He's standing here staring at them. They're staring back.

"Ollo," he says, the old mispronunciation slipping out. "You... you called. I'm Megamind."

The woman in the flying chair moves forward and smiles. "We're so glad to meet you," she says, without amplification. She holds out both of her hands. Her sleeves only go down to her elbows and her hands and arms are so blue.

Megamind has no idea what he's supposed to do; this is probably a handshake, but he didn't shake a lot of hands in his first week of life, what if he botches it? He extends his own hands tentatively.

"Do you always wear gloves?" she asks.

"Yes! No!" Megamind babbles, flustered. He tugs his right glove off, hands trembling slightly. She takes his bare right hand in both of her own. At the height the chair is floating, she's slightly taller than he is. "I didn't mean to rush you," she says, looking at him kindly.

Their hands are the same blue. Megamind blinks frantically, trying not to cry.

Roxanne is trying to balance documenting this historic encounter with not invading and broadcasting a very personal moment for her boyfriend. Tricky! She sets them up just close enough that Julia is getting a good picture, but whatever Megamind and the newcomers are saying to each other is too distant for her mic to pick up. She shakes her head when Julia starts to hook up the directional.

"I'm here witnessing a meeting of Metro City's own Megamind with visitors who may share a background with our resident superhero," Roxanne ad-libs. Yikes, is she overemphasizing that Megamind belongs to Metro City as a legitimate angle, or is that personal possessiveness talking? "Megamind's survival in infancy of the catastrophe that claimed his world has always been assumed to be a solitary miracle. The arrival of these newcomers raises the question: where have they been? And what happens next?" Not terrible, although not her best. She's still not sure if those are the News Questions or her own questions. The professional became personal for her a long time ago, with the kidnappings, and everyone assuming she was dating Wayne. It's worked out well for her - it's gotten her access to the stories she wants to tell, plus she gets to date the most interesting guy she's ever met. But she can hardly claim objectivity. 

"Whether this is a short stay or the beginning of a longer association, this is surely a momentous day for Megamind and for the city honored to receive these guests from beyond." Ugh, that sounds like they're back from the afterlife. _Aren't_ they, though? Megamind's people, back from the dead. She can't wait to hear from Megamind what they're saying to each other.

Megamind just stands there for awhile while the woman in the flying chair holds his hand. He doesn't even know her name but she's the fifth-most important person in his life now. Finally he pulls his arm away and starts to wriggle his hand back into his glove.

"We'd love for you to come see our ship and meet everyone," she says. "Local media invited too." She smiles over his shoulder, back where Roxanne and Julia are filming.

They know his name and where he lives, but Megamind can't tell if she knows that Roxanne isn't just "local media". He can tell her! He's never gotten to make introductions before. "Can my Minion come too?" he asks. He gestures, and Minion flies down on the second hoverbike from where he's been camouflaged against a building.

The eyes of all three visitors go wide. "Oh, my," the woman says. "You have a Minion. Oh, my." She turns directly to Minion. "We would be honored for you to come aboard our ship!"

"Thank you?" Minion calls back, rolling a little in his tank in a questioning way.

"There were so many fewer of your people out on the ships," the woman says. "The Enclosed usually stayed home. Culturally. Of course they got seats on the _last_ ships, but the numbers are still - the population bottleneck is - "

"Wait," Megamind interrupts, unable to stop himself. "There's more than one ship?"

"Oh, kiddo," the woman says. "You're not even the only baby someone shot off in a microship. Come meet your people."

The visitors' ship de-invisibilizes when they approach, and Roxanne, holding on to Megamind on the back of the hoverbike, almost falls off in shock. It's huge, bigger than the skyscraper Hal once threw at her, which is her previous reference point for "largest flying object". At least it's not moving, but even hanging motionless over the water it's riveting in its hugeness. She hopes Julia is getting good footage from the shore.

They fly into a blue-lit bay and park the hoverbikes. The alien with the jetpack takes off the jetpack, but the alien woman in the flying chair stays in the flying chair. She leads them onto a circular metal platform that takes off whizzing through the halls of the space ship, sometimes entering a vertical shaft and rising like an elevator for a few levels. The woman points out things as they pass - cafeterias, libraries, hydroponics; Roxanne suspects it's all coming out as a blur on her camera. There's a lot of translucent glass and fan vaulting and no people anywhere. Finally the platform lets them off at one end of an enormous room with a vast curving geodesic-dome ceiling, and here's all the people. So many blue heads. And then triangular panels start lighting up in the ceiling, video screens with more heads, and the rest of the ceiling is turning into a giant star map, which, Roxanne thinks, squinting at it, is showing more or less where the groups on video are calling from.

Part of Megamind's brain is estimating the numbers, part is noticing how many fewer Minions there are. (They're very obvious, in big spheres in more of those wide waist-height jumper-like rings.) Part is noticing all the little variations in the crowd - greener and more lavender skin tones, wrinkled foreheads, _children_. Part is just overwhelmed. He's never imagined anything like this could be possible.

He waves, nervously, and they wave back, thousands of resplendent blue hands and beaming faces.

After that it turns into what is more or less a cocktail party. Megamind's been to a few of those now that he's a good guy. They could probably exchange information faster if he just sat down with one or two of them, but there seem to be a whole lot of people who all want to talk to him themselves. Some of them just want to say hello, or offer him plates of mysterious but delicious small foods. Others want to know if he has any homeland artifacts. There's a doctor who offers him a full check-up and makes a couple of quiet, alarmingly accurate guesses about minor chronic ailments he deals with, and a few who seem very like the politicians of Metro City, angling for his support. One woman wants to know what led him to utilize blue ion energy outside of the planetary atmosphere, which was apparently how they were able to find him. They're very interested to hear that another black hole survivor had landed in the same city.

"Unfortunately I have no way to contact him," Megamind says, which feels like it should be a lie - how can he have no way to contact Wayne! About something this world-shaking! But it is in fact true.

"Glaupunkt'll do that," someone says, a man whose head is spotted with age. It's fascinating, like looking into the future. "Few of them at the mining bases and such. None with us. Glaupunkt don't do well on ships."

"Are you going to leave an outpost here?" Megamind blurts. It's... sort of a segue, and he's been wondering, obviously. "Wayne might pass through. At some point." He doesn't want to know for Wayne, he wants to know for himself. That's probably obvious. There are questions it hurts to think about that he couldn't help but start asking himself on that hoverbike ride, following the three flying visitors back to their ship. He's been trying to sit back, to not assume anything, these people might know what they're doing and he certainly doesn't, but, really, canapés and chitchat? "How long can you stay?" 

No one seems horrified that he's asked, at least.

"We're a deep space research vessel," the woman in the flying chair says. He hadn't even realized she was still nearby but maybe she's the official dealer-with-stray-lost-children and she's been lurking in case he made trouble. "We're not optimized for extended stays in gravity wells - we actually had to retrofit - anyways." She shakes her head at herself. "We have cargo ships now. They're slow, and there would have to be quite a bit of negotiation, but there could be a trade route here someday."

"I see," Megamind says. For all that he's always had blind spots, he's still always been able to fill in the blanks.

He looks across the room to where Minion and Roxanne are both surrounded by their own circles of conversation partners. Minion is completely mobbed, Minion-bubbles jostling with blue heads all around him. Roxanne - his heart seizes a little - is kneeling down to talk to several children. From the way they're waving their little arms, they could be trying to explain something to her? Pretending to be something? Roxanne looks completely focused, giving her full attention to the kids and not glancing up at the adults smiling indulgently behind them.

He can feel his choice sitting there inside of him. It's painful, but also satisfying, to know that he'll be able to answer when the necessary questions are asked.

Roxanne looks up - the children are fascinating, but she's lost the thread of what they're talking about - and catches Megamind looking away, like he's been watching her. He does that sometimes. She's been watching him, too, except when she gets distracted - there's so much to try to take in! She's had dreams where it turns out there's an upstairs floor of her grocery store selling books she's never heard of, or a room in her old high school full of pots of giant unfamiliar flowers, and she wakes up trying to gather up armloads. It feels like that, being here. Every sentence could be a book - a woman with shimmering green streaks on her head catches her staring, and tells her "I'm a grasslander, not that you'll see many of us here." Roxanne's interview-sense tingles like a banged elbow.

"An' that's why I can't be a lava artist like grandma!" one of the kids finishes up, and Roxanne quickly redirects her attention.

"Thank you for telling me about that!" she says. "I'm not sure I understand because there's a _lot_ I don't know," she adds. "But it's super interesting trying to learn more!"

"We're glad you think so," one of the adults - dads? - says. Roxanne straightens up and tries not to read too much into that. She knows what she wants but she doesn't know what's possible. Everyone is being very kind to her. They're letting her film with her handheld camera. A Minion in a glass sphere almost as tall as Roxanne helped her pick out hors d'oeuvres she could eat, using an instrument on the ring of gadgets around his circumference. (Strange, but delicious!) But it's a far cry from hospitality at a cocktail party to what she's hoping for.

Across the room, a girl presses a blue hand to Megamind's chest while she talks to him. Okay. Not _everybody_ has to be on board with what Roxanne wants, and she's sure they won't be, there are a lot of people just on this ship and there are probably factions here she has no idea about. But she's got to start by making her position clear.

Megamind watches Roxanne stalk across the room towards him. He loves her fearlessness, the way she climbed onto the back of the hoverbike without hesitation, the way her arms tightened around him when they saw the ship and then she leaned forward like now she wanted to get there even faster. Now she's cutting through a crowd of aliens like she has no doubt of her right to do it. He still can't move through human crowds like that. The young woman talking to him is still saying something, but he only has eyes and ears for Roxanne.

"Megamind," she says. "I need to talk to you." She turns to the woman in the flying chair. "Is there somewhere we can talk for a moment?"

The woman shows them to a tiny room, one of a series of doors along one side of the big room they're in. It has a bench and some mysterious fixtures Megamind can't immediately identify.

"Huh," Roxanne says, "Is this a bathroom or a phone booth?"

"Hm," Megamind says. "The coils there suggest - "

"Never mind," Roxanne says. She takes Megamind's hands. "I wanted to talk to you because I don't know what the timeline is," she says. "I wanted to talk to you before you started sorting things out. And I know you haven't even talked to Minion yet, but - "

"He's quite the fish of the hour," Megamind says. He takes a deep breath, and sighs. "I assume he'll want to go with them," he says. "It's all so sudden, but the population situation - I don't see how he couldn't."

Roxanne blinks at him. "Well, obviously," she says, wrinkling her nose a little. "Won't you?"

Megamind blinks back. "You thought I would go with them?" he asks carefully.

"I don't see why the hell you wouldn't!" Roxanne says, and Megamind flinches, pulling his hands out of Roxanne's.

"You thought I would leave you," he says. "I thought we were serious, but you thought I would leave." Here he's been congratulating himself on having his choice all made, and they haven't been on the same page at all.

"I don't know!" Roxanne says. "You can't leave Minion. But you don't have to choose. I want to go. That's what I wanted to tell you."

It's been a frankly dizzying day. Megamind sits down hard onto the bench, looking up at Roxanne in confusion. "You want to... go with them? With me?"

" _Yes_ ," Roxanne says. She sits down next to him. Her eyes are all lit up. "If they'll possibly take me. This is the biggest chance - and I can _help_ you, if there's stuff you think you should know, nobody will expect me to know anything, and - "

Megamind catches one of her hands. "You don't have to justify yourself," he says. "Just having you there would be - but Roxanne. Think. They might never come back."

"Can you make something to let me beam back my book?" Roxanne asks. "I mean, a transmitter. Fast radio or something. There are so many stories here. I want Earth to get to hear them."

For a moment it seems seductively possible. Megamind used to daydream about this as a child. Not the Roxanne part, but the part where his parents showed up and said they'd gotten away at the last minute after all and now he could come home and live with them and they would have adventures on other planets. He had always thought it was just a fantasy, like dreaming about going to Oz or finding a Golden Ticket. He could have tried to look for other survivors years ago, if he had really thought there could be any, he could have tried to signal... but he hadn't, and Roxanne doesn't really know what she's offering.

"You don't understand how hard it is," he tells Roxanne. "Being the only one, always standing out - even now that I'm a good guy, I still don't fit in. I don't want that for you."

Roxanne looks at her beautiful alien boyfriend. He's so earnest, so concerned, and so frustrating right now, when they're so close to this amazing chance. "I know you like saving me," she says. "But you don't have to save me from myself! You were a child, and I'm thirty. I have a choice, and you didn't. You had Wayne, we... I suppose we could still have Wayne, he could show up at any minute, really, but we're not letting him write the script. And I think these people might be a little more inclined to listen to _you_ first."

"But I'm the defender now that he's gone," Megamind says. "I have to, the, um - "

"You're going to stay here and run buses?" Roxanne asks. "I mean, the snow buses were very nice. But don't you think your people need you more than Metro City?"

"Oh," Megamind says, scooting a little closer to her. "You don't play fair." He cups her face in his hand. "You're really serious about this."

"My biological clock is ringing and it's a travel alarm," Roxanne says. "It's my turn to be the alien. And I had no idea I wanted this! But I want it more than anything."

"Wellll," Megamind says, drawn out. "I _guess_ I could come with you and Minion and the thousands of long-lost people who look like me. To have adventures in space. Just because you need to write that book, of course."

Roxanne kisses him on the cheek. "I hope they give us time to pack," she says. "I'm going to need you to dehydrate a lifetime supply of coffee. And maybe my books. And - "

"Earth flowers, for all our important anniversaries," Megamind says. Roxanne smiles.

"Cue the music," Roxanne says. "Let's go make sure we're invited."

Megamind takes her hand, and life rolls forward.

**

"A bird could love a fish, so imma dive like a penguin." - Roxanne Ritchi, probably.

**Author's Note:**

> Roxanne is canonically 30 in the movie; I've chosen to imagine that her birthday is sometime in spring, before the Titan fight in June, so she can still be 30 here but just barely. Depending on how much time you think passes during the various montage sequences, maybe she has to be 31 here if she was 30 on Metro Man Day. Enh, close enough.
> 
> I tried to imagine this story as a short film, although there's a lot more inner speech than would work in a film. Denied myself the use of the scene break and tried a fluid POV transition thing instead, though. "Fly By Night" isn't quite lyrically on the mark for the exit music, but it's what I'm hearing in my head.


End file.
